Some things should never fall away.

Why is it that "Woe unto you" ever quit getting used in speech or written dialogue? I haven't heard anyone say it in....well, maybe ever. But, like John Travolta, it needs to make a come back. I take that back, John Travolta didn't need to make a come back, but he did make one. And, in the same manner, this expression needs to make a similar come back. Only this expression should not get too full of itself and make movies like Broken Arrow, Swordfish or Battlefield Earth. Woe unto you, John Travolta, for making a come back and squandering it on crappy scripts and bad acting.

Mmmmmm, narsassism.

Why not, instead of lusting after people that are freakishly beautiful, surround yourself with those who are freakishly unattractive. Then, lust after yourself.

Policies and Procedures

You do realize that, if you have the opportunity to write the policy and procedure on policies and procedures where you work, you can redefine those words to mean pretty much anything you want, right?

These are kinda what they are supposed to mean:
Policy
Procedure

It's a good idea to memorize the original definitions so you can sneer and repeat them back mockingly when someone mistakes these for what your policy and procedure has actually defined them as.