Data Security

Recently, I have been working with information having to do with data security. Not that I am any kind of expert, in fact for a change, I am not expert at all. I know very little about this one particular subject. However, it is interesting that some people give it a lot of thought. Interesting because others of us take it for granted. We shop on line and don't really think too much about the efforts and practices that went into making our transactions safe. We send our biggest secrets over chat and email with little thought to the security of it all. Wait, what? I am the only one sending secrets over chat and email. Crap. Well, anyways, you get my point. Not many of us think too much about the security of our data although we all probably should.

I was thinking about the imagery of protection. We all want protection from bad guys, but we don't like to think about what that might look like...it can be kind of frightening, or unwanted. Honestly, the first thing that I think of when I think of protection is condoms. Google image search thinks of that first too. Condoms keep us safe from viruses and other sorts of problematic issues. Also, condoms keep mules stomachs and large intestines safe from cocain, but those are bad guys. Or somewhere in the middle guys anyways.

I think of pad locks, chain link fence, razor wire, barking dogs... We are all taught to believe that police are our friends, yet we all instintively quit doing what we were doing when they show up, even if what we were doing wasn't bad. Don't lie, youre not fooling anyone, you know you do. Yes you, you do too. Everyone, even you.

Yes you do too, now stop before the cops get here.

As I was thinking through the different, fairly unattractive things, we depend on to keep us and our assests safe, I had a stunning and kind of sad realization. One of the worset fake events of the 70s happened because data wasn't protected well enough. I realize the evil empire being toppled was all in all probably a good thing, but R2D2 is a robot, and therefore amoral. Today he steals the plans to blow up the death star, tomorrow he could just as easily steal the plans to blow up city planet where all the jedis sit around doing cool jedi stuff. I don't know what would be worse than that, but whatever is worse, R2D2 is totally capable of it.

Too bad for the empire that they didn't practice better data security. Darth Vadar was a great evil empire leader, but sadly his big undoing was poor data security. All the lightsaber fighting, sneaking around, blowing up tractor beam generators, attacking empire outposts aside, the evil empire would have crushed the rebel resistance if they would have had and practiced better data security. That should be a lesson to what can happen if you let R2D2 around your data.

Everyone loved that droid for all his cutie whistling and brash rebelliousness. But he just lost a few notches in my mind. R2D2 isn't as cute as he used to be to me, he is a menace. If I ever meet up with him, I will slip a magnet in him, and every other droid who acts all cute. In fact, I am going to recommend that a data standard be set in place to make sure droids keep our of our business. I don't want anything of mine blown up on account of one.

Pharmacists count slow & hate people

Recently I was prescribed a few drugs for various health type issues I am having along with some procedures I had done. What is going wrong? Well, that is none of you're freaking business, but what I can tell you is it all caused me to spend a little time in a pharmacy.

On of my prescriptions was for 2 pills. 2. Like, 1 and then 2. For that I had to pay 5 bucks. For whatever reason, I want a pill that costs me 2.50 to be the size of half a sangwhich. It feels like a rip off when it is normal pill size. I don't care if it is 5mg of what I need and half a pound of baking soda to make the giant pill. Just make it bigger so I don't feel so ripped off.

The crazy part though, is dropping a prescription for 2 pills off at the pharmacy and the guy behind the counter says, "we can get this for you in 25 to 30 minutes." What? 25 minutes?! you have to count to 2! Although being told I have to wait 30 minutes for someone to count to two is completely unbelievable to me, I just go along with it like it is normal. That's what makes everyone think I am normal, I think. When really, inside, I am kind of a mess.

I am not good with math, or numbers in general really, but I think I could work in a pharmacy. I can count really fast. And really, I don't see that they do much else. The next prescription I dropped off the following day was for 30 tablets. This also took 30 minutes. They probably counted out one pill every minute. If I worked there, I would be a superstar for being able to count out 30 pills in about a minute, maybe 2 minutes to make sure i get the pills in a bottle.

I would understand if pills were the size of tires. If they were huge, they would require a warehouse. But pills are tiny. Maybe I would revolutionize the industry by organizing the pills. Maybe now it takes so long because they are in no specific order behind the counter? Maybe now all the pills are in a big barrel and the pharmacist has to dig through the barrel to find just the right ones? Maybe most of the wait is while they find the pills you need because they are hidden around the office like easter eggs? Who can say, the whole thing is so completely weird to me, but I pretend it all makes sense.

Once they have counted out the pills, a pharmacist wants to come over and tell you what each thing does and how to use it. "Now, these here are for your weeping anal fissures, just take one every 4 to 6 hours until the bottle is gone and that should really take the constant burning sensation off of your anus. These pills are for the rash you have...is this rash between your legs and in your arm pits? Well, take two of these a day with food and it will clear up all the redness and itching." Too bad they don't just give you a pill that doesn't make you feel shame and embarrassment from having all that explained very publicly. I like the look on the pharmacist face when I decline the explanation. They give me a piece of paper that details more than what they are about to tell me. Oh yeah, and my Dr just went over all this crap privately. They look almost hurt that they don't get to shout out what all is wrong with you for the world to hear. Only pill I will ever let a pharmacist explain to me out loud is if I ever get something prescribed because I have an inhumanly large erection and the pill is going to make it mortal sized for a couple of hours. Or maybe one that would calm my raging libido for a temporary amount of time. I really can't think of any other pills I would want explained so publicly to me.

Sometimes, I think the pharmacist might even be scared, I don't know why they don't ever decline. "This one will help you not throw up suddenly when you least expect it and this one will help calm your nearly uncontrollable rage disorder." Maybe that is an explanation they give while covered in a trash bag and standing 15 feet away while throwing your pills to you.

Pills are cool. And while I don't like being sick or hurt, I am always amazed a tiny tiny pill can do to someone my size. Pharmacists would be way cooler if they just learned to count faster.