fighting old people.

I realize it has been some time since I have posted. You go get a blog, and post retarded stuff to it for a couple of years and after that, I might listen to you complain to me about how long I sometimes wait between posts. Otherwise, shut your gob.

I was thinking the other day about getting old. I think about this often, I really thought by the time I got to be this age, I would feel like an adult, and I would know all this adult stuff about how to do grown up things. Like investing. Really, like anything having to do with paper work in general. Paper work is a black art, and I know nothing of the black arts. Taxes are a mystery, a veiled something or other that is so vague and beyond knowability that is it a something obscured by a something else. It is just that vague and unknowable. Perhaps it is paperwork that has to do with math? Frightening, but I have strayed from my point, much like an older person might.

I notice the older I get, the slower my recovery time for injuries. I get hurt, it feels like forever before things feel right again. I think that comes with age. Good times. It make me think, this has got to be part of the reason why you don't see old guys getting in fist fights. I am sure as long as there is at least an eye dropper of testosterone running through a guys veins, a fight could happen. It is the curse of being a guy. But as you get older, fighting sounds less and less worth it. Like, "if someone did that to me I would kick his ass...well, I would think about kicking his ass anyways. Someone should kick a guys ass for what that jackass just did." If I were better with math, I would figure a curve that showed the likelihood a dude getting in a fist fight dropping with each year that same dude gets older. I would of course name this curve after someone I think is a douche. Why would I name it after me, if I am 90, I will still be able to soundly put you on the floor, sonny! Or at least, those are the things I will shout at the orderlies in the old folks home.

Fighting is an interesting process as well. Not that fighting has anything to do with getting older, but again, you are reading my blog. Quit your yip yappin about me staying on subject, or I will drop you like a bag of dirt, you son-of-a-gun.

Fighting is kind of like dating, in a way. Before you call the cops, hear me out. And give me time to plan my escape.

Dating usually starts off with words. Just like fighting. There are usually a couple of people, and the words volley back and fourth. The words exchanged are leading somewhere...often toward a physical relationship between the two people. Sometimes even a legal relationship, depending on how far things go. First one will push, then the other pushes back a little harder. Often times there is a few more words mixed with a little posturing. Then, the first one pushes back even harder, and then it is on until the police show up and either haul you both off for assault, or public indecency.

Most older people that are not Hugh Heffener could do without dating. It is too much effort. Sort of like they could totally do without fighting, also too much effort. Maybe I should have entitled this post, old people are lazy.