General Mills, not general and also not a mill.

I came into this thinking I didn't have any kind of personal beef with General Mills, but it turns out I do. Apparently they either started Olive Garden and still own it, or started it and spun it off into some other corporation. Either way, Olive Garden sucks ass, and not in a good way. Where else do you pay 12 bucks for ravioli's and only get 10 of them? Just because you offer all you can eat break sticks and salad doesn't mean that I am going to eat a metric ton of breadsticks and salad. I didn't order vast quantities of either. I appreciate that they are available to me, but what I really wanted was ravioli which is why I ordered it. There should be enough of what I ordered to make a meal, not a light snack. Unless they are golden raviolis, not meant for human consumption, than over a dollar a ravioli is a rip off, no matter where you are. Oh yeah, Olive Garden, your bread sticks and salad? Not that good. While it is important that you all know Olive Garden blows chunks, it is not the purpose of this post, and I only bring it up to air my one known issue with General Mills. Which, oddly, is not related to this topic.

A mill is a place someone would take a bunch of wheat or grain, drop it off and let the mill worker people grind it up into flour. Or, you might take a bunch of trees to a mill and have them milled into pulp for paper, or particle board or lumber. A mill is a specific kind of place. Specific raw materials go to a mill, and specific products come out of a mill. General Mills? So, if I show up over there with some fish, some nickel ore, some trees and some wheat, General Mills will mill it all up and give it all back to me milled? They have a mill that somehow mills, ya know, whatever gets thrown in there? I wonder what a milled bicycle would look like? Their mill is general, I will take a bicycle there and pay to have it milled, just to see the outcome.

General Mills is best known for their cereal. Don't look for me to site a source there, it is so obvious that is what they are known for sighting it would be a waste of my time. Like you all knew they were responsible for Olive Garden... There is nothing on the planet or off, that when run through a mill, comes out the other end Captain Crunch (yes I know that Cap'n crunch is made by Quaker Oats, but in this case, cereal is cereal. I will address in another post why Pepsi is making cereal...) I would like to see whatever it is that gets milled down into a Lucky Charm. I think Lucky Charms are conjured and are somewhat other worldly. Certainly not milled. In fact, no raw material goes into a mill and comes out a finished product...except for maybe pepper. And even then pepper is debatable, I have never heard of anyone having pepper as anything other than a light topping to food or adding a dash of pepper to something. I wonder if General Mills makes pepper? Probably not. Mills, by and large, make ingredients that go into other products. Do you eat flour, or is it an ingredient. Shut up, it is an ingredient, and you know it, smartass.

General Mills makes food. Not ingredients. They might could be called "Specific Mills" because they don't mill whatever is given to them. They mill very specific things. However, I wouldn't be surprised if they milled nothing at all, but relied on other mills to get the ingredients that go into their products. In which case, they are not a general or specific mill, General Mills is not a mill at all. It should be called "fake mills", or "Mills of Yore". Because they used to mill stuff, but don't anymore. Maybe they could change their name to "Food Company" Even "General Food Company" since they like the word general so much. And the food they make seems pretty random to me. Maybe just "Random Foods" or "General Random Foods." Still vague, but more accurate.

United States Easement

Who is tired of being cut off from Alaska? I mean who besides me... I am so tired of hearing candidates run on the same old crap, the war, the economy, the environment, is Pluto a planet or a dwarf planet.... Who cares? I did care, but I have thought about it all so much, I don't care anymore. My brain hurts from caring too much, and now I have to care about different things for awhile. Like a moonbase. We need one of those, and any candidate who told me they were going to set up a base on the moon would have my vote. Unless, someone running against that candidate said we needed an easement to Alaska. I know our hockey playing, beer drinking, lumberjack neighbors to the north have been friendly enough, but they do sit between a lot of the United States and one State what needs to be United with the rest of the states so they are all contiguous (cept for Hawaii, that is, for now.)

Below is a picture of what I recommend for an easement to Alaska:

As you can see, the ecommended easement is in red, white and blue. I think this easement should become the 51st state. I have already been thinking California needs to be broken into 2 states, Northern and Southern California. But, in light of this new easement, I think Southern California should be a state, Northern California should become a new state and should be called Middle California, and the new easement territory should be called Northern California. Though that is kind of confusing since Oregon and Washington are both in the way. Plus, then it would be 52 states with the splitting up of the original California. Maybe we should just call it Old Canada? Kind of an honorary thing for the former owners. We could even change Canada's national anthem a little to make it the new easement state song, it would go "Old Canada" instead of "O Canada" though the second line would also have to change from "our home and native land!" to something like "our brand new easement land!" Also, in the second verse, Canadians might want to change the song from "How dear to us the broad domain, from East to Western sea!" to something like "How dear to us the broad domain from Eastern sea to the border of Old Canada!" That is just a suggestion though, Canadians can fix or not fix the song however they see fit, Canada will just not border the Pacific anymore at all, so the song might be a reminder of when they did. Maybe Canadians will like that for the sake of nostalgia?

It will be nice having a new state. Hopefully it takes the pressure off of real estate prices for awhile, the new territory will provide lots of new opportunity for house building, I mean, once it is settled and all. Maybe I will move there to help settle it, it would be like cowboy times, border towns where a middle aged outlaw can make a name for himself. Or maybe I will settle there and be a law man, stopping outlaws from making names for themselves in the new wild west, I will serve up justice and hot iron and cold steel, Old Canada style!