That's right everyone, I am going to be starting a class on chatting on the interwebs. Not just any class, oh no, a very special class. Chatting is one thing. Anyone can do it, it is a lot like talking, but you type what you would say instead. No worries though, we will cover that right away, prolly in the beginning of the first session. For the rest of the semester, we will focus on naughty talk over chat.
Chat is an interesting thing. In real life, most people avoid talking to complete strangers; you get a wrong number on your phone, you don't tell the wrong number person what you would do to them if you were suddenly stuck in an elevator alone with them. People say things in chat because they are in chat. Many people would never talk all naughty to anyone in real life, but remove the face to face element, and the sex fiend comes out. rawr. But, sadly, because naughtyness is rarely discussed, the degrees at which people in general are skilled in it varies widely and wildly. Luckily, I have developed curriculum. You're welcome.
Pull out your....pencils or pens and notebooks. I am glad some of you finished that sentence another way. You are already moving in the right direction. I realize this is a class on chatting in interwebs chat, but it won't be offered as an on line course for at least another semester. So, today we are going to role play a so called interwebs chat session. I want you to grab a partner and pull your desks together. Great, now, I want you to describe in great detail what you would do to your partner given 7.5 minutes alone in a supply closet at the airport. And please, it is important that you don't give out your real names to each other, so if you bother with introductions, give out fake names. If I find out you have given out your real name, you will get no points for class participation today. Fellas in the back of the room, what is going on back there? You grouped with the person closest to you, don't split up because you are both dudes. I don't care if neither of you swing that way, it is the interwebs here we are talking about, if this was an actual chat session, one or both of you would be pretending to be female. I don't care how you work it out, but you talk dirty to each other in vr, so I think you can handle in in rl.
Why aren't you all talking over there? Do you have multiple chat windows open and you are chatting other hotter people? It is role play, so I know that you don't. Difficult to get started when you are face to face? Why don't you tell her you wanna "ram it in deep" or "lick her all over"? Awkward when you are face to face? How can that be, get over it, tell her how you wanna rip all those buttons off her shirt and slake her smooth, supple white skin. I feel like I am giving away the assignment up here. Think people, what items would you find in the supply closet at the airport? Maybe use something you imagine in there to get your started?
If you are paired with someone in class today and they just aren't doing it for you, try sending someone hotter in a nearby group a mistell. Pretend you are in the middle of a steamy chat with your current partner, but send that steamy one liner to the hotter person in the other chat "by accident", then quickly type "doh, MT, keep that on the down low!" And maybe that will spark a better conversation.
Keep in mind that, through all of this, if you set up a meeting outside of interwebs chat class 101, the person isn't going to look like you thought they did in class. Further, you will be so nervous...you got along so great chatting in interwebs chat class, that you will act like a retard because you are too worried about being yourself. Next week we will talk about: suspending disbelief, how you can be talking to someone when you say you are down on them.
