chronic and aggressive masturbation

With a title like that, I knew you couldn't get to reading this post fast enough.

Really, it is a problem that plagues more people than you know. You are not alone. Chronic Masturbaters (or CMS--Chronic Masturbation Syndrome) often feel alone in the overwhelming sexual urges that drive them to masturbate incessantly. Late for work, yes, but you still need to pound one out. Hungry for lunch? Of course, but you're not going anywhere until you find that quiet spot in the stairwell and release the sexual tension built up inside. Raw and starting to bleed? Doesn't matter, just gotta finish up this last time, then it will be time to take a break and let things heal. At least, that is what you keep telling yourself.

Worry no more my friends. And welcome to The Mastubatorium.

Why hide with your dirty little secret? Please drop by and visit us at The Masturbatorium instead. The friendly staff at The Masturbatorium will help you find a themed room that meets your strict and demanding masturbatory needs. Maybe you need us to set up an office or cube just like yours at work to help get you there? Done. Maybe you need the backseat of a strangers car? No problem. Maybe you need a more public space in The Masturbatorium? You bet! Maybe you need a room overlooking a Jr High School? Well, even The Masturbatorium has rules freak, and that just won't fly here. But we do stock a large variety of what some might call, "weird fetish porn" because we know it takes all shapes and sizes, so to speak. Maybe your dream is to Masturbate in the Oval Office? Well, try that in the real thing and I have heard you can end up in a scary, unnamed underground prison for several days before being drugged and waking up on a beach in Mexico. But if it is your dream, perhaps you would like to try our replica Oval Office? Authentic in every detail. Bill Clinton knows, he is a proud Masturbatorium customer.

Are you on the go? No time to stop in? No problem! Our Mobile Masturbatorium will come to you. Our state of the art mobile services feature our wide porn collection available on line, our mobile rooms are small, but comfortable and sound proofed. We also feature many of the same tools and apparatus featured at our Mastubatorium.

Our friendly and helpful staff work hard to keep every room in The Masturbatorium clean and fresh. If you ever find an unsightly mess in any of our rooms, our staff will relocate you and clean up immediately. And, your next 10 visits will be absolutely free. Our professional staff are there to help in any way possible, short of "lending a hand". If you desire an audience of one or many, our staff can arrange for your needs, or even book you in a room with bleachers, and fill the bleachers with an audience at the desired moment. Applause and cheering are your option!

This is the best business idea I have ever had. In the words of Kevin Costner: If I build it, they will come.