My newest disorder.

Finally. Finally. My overwhelming, yet intermittent desire to break things and people has been given a name. Intermittent Explosive Disorder. No kidding. Until now almost everyone thought this was a lack of self control. Turns out, like over eating, it is a disorder, no self control needed. I am not an angry person after all, I just have a touch of the Itis. Hopefully this will finally land me those placards I have been wanting. Just the thought of not being able to find a parking place, especially on a rainy day.... I am seething right now, my rage knows no bounds, the furious intensity of a thousand white hot suns exploding just behind my eyes. I just pulled out a desk drawer and crushed it into toothpicks on my assistant's arm which I think is also broken now too. Dumb ass shouldn't have come in while I was angry. Anyways, I am not mad now, it is intermittent ya know, so it comes and goes almost without warning. Someone should think up some kind of intermittent pill or intermittent cure for this. Until then, I am going to enjoy being protected by the American's with Disabilities Act. Next time my boss gets all up in my grill, and I intermittently turn into a human blender destroying person and property in furious, blinding anger, she will of course understand it is just my disorder acting up, and she can no more blame me for my path of destruction around the office then she could blame another employee for being confined to that annoying wheelchair. Just the thought of that thing squeaking down the hallways, blocking up exits.. "Can you give me a little push to the..." I will give you a push, I will push you right into the very depths of hell, you gold bricking, free loading... nevermind, I am not mad anymore.