Bionics.

Presently, when someone starts talking about Steve Austin, most people think of professional wrestling. I want to talk about the Bionic Steve Austin. The man barely alive. Oscar Goldmen's Steve Austin. Personally, I would hate to have seen his twisted, charred torso when he was pulled from his space craft wreckage. For all the parts they replaced, he was a mess. It is a wonder they found his legless, one armed, one eye near remains at all. What is more of a miracle though, is that in the mid 70s they had the technology that saved him. I think in the 70s, even if they could have put his body back together, his skin still would have looked something like noggahide. I have a sneaking suspension as well that Steve Austin might not have had an operating unit after such an accident, but that is a whole other discussion.

Of course, with my keen interest in physics and science as a whole, I recent;y got to thinking about his crazy bionic strength. His bionic eye I am really going to over look. Although bionics made one of his eyes see like the scope of a sniper rifle when needed, no one really has any idea how eyes actually work, It is a mystery for the ages that has dumbfounded scientist worldwide. However, everyone knows how arms and legs work, there is hardly anything to them. Some muscles, a few nerves and veins, an arm..or leg. Easy to believe we were making bionic people parts then as well as now.

What I don't get is how you put them together. For instance, Steve Austin has an arm capable of lifting a car. Amazing. I am sure he showed that off at parties. What I don't get is how the arm stayed attached. They didn't go over that in the show. And sure, if he planted both bionic legs, he could curl the car from the bumper with the one bionic arm. Oh yeah, except the muscles referred to in the field as "core brute strength" muscles, i.e. your back and stomach, are in between those bionic parts. (for the record, Steve Austin's core brute strength is normal and average, not bionic.) Even if I had bionic legs and a bionic arm, I don't really see my core brute strength supporting the weight of a car. I think the first time Steve went to lift a car, his bionic arm would have torn off in a bloody mess of wires and noggahide and bionics. I also bet he would get a pretty bad hernia.

Next time NASA decides to turn one of their astronauts into a cyborg (which I am all for), I think they really ought to make the whole dude bionic. Or at least 99% of a whole dude.