Toy's aren't Us.

Over the weekend I had occasion to go to Toy's r Us. What a sham. What a farce. They didn't have what I was looking for. In fact, they don't have much of a selection at all. I will tell you what they do have though...baby clothes, cribs, strollers, bedding.... It is in the name. Toy's R Us. Toys! These items are not toys. They have a whole other store for that crap, Babies R Us. Seriously, I don't go into Babies R Us looking for Legos, GI Joes, Barbie's, Thomas Train stuff, Blue's Clues paraphernalia... Why would I go into a toy store looking for sheets, cribs, bottles... It makes for a store that is neither a good toy store, nor a good baby accoutrement store. I am going to start a toy store and I am going to call it Crappy Selection R Us. I am going to get the buyers from Toys R Us to buy for me. I want exactly the same thing they buy for them. It should be no problem, if you order it for them, order it for me too. The only difference is, I will offer my crappy selection at reasonable prices. I will make up for it by paying my people less for the work they don't do. I will have less people too. However, I will openly embrace the entrenched philosophy of my competitors. I will tell my workers they don't have to help anyone unless they feel like it. "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer. If the customer doesn't like it they can sit on a tack. Long waits are good, and so are invasive procedures in the check out line. If you see a customer approaching you, RUN FOR IT!, they probably want to bug you, and I don't pay you enough to be bugged. If you start off being short with customers, it saves all that foreplay. Cut to the chase I say. My employees will have awesome black uniforms. Whatever the Hot Topic employees are wearing is what my employees will wear. I am not going to have some lame, creepy animal mascot either. Crappy Selection R Us needs something like a flaming skull. Nothing says toys like an obsidian flaming skull. I can't wait to design the graphic and write the employee manual