Fortune Cookies.

About once a week, I eat at a place that serves fortune cookies with the meal. I have noticed a trend. Fortune cookies don't really tell your fortune, or any fortune. Not that I read my fortune and it doesn't come true, I mean the slip of paper inside the cookie isn't even a fortune. Below are some examples of "fortunes" with descriptions of what I believe the "fortune" actually is.

• Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance. =advice
• A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short. =nonsense
• Life is too important to be taken seriously. =advice? Wittyness?
• No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right. =arguably an axiom, probably a maxim or proverb
• If there is a wrong way to do something, most people will do it every time. =truism
• The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing. =witticism (although it might be telling of our fortune...or misfortune.)
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. = weak attempt at irony?
• Now is not the time to try something new.= advice
• You have a poor sense of humor and don't know a good time.=judgment
• You have an evil heart and are greatly despised.=judgment
• Failure surely comes your way= AN ACTUAL FORTUNE! And probably somewhat accurate...
• Your luck has been completely changed today= Another fortune! I like this fortune because it seems positive, but isn't necessarily. You might think you have bad luck, but you might in fact have a lack of luck, and what little luck you have is good. If your tiny bit of good luck completely changed, you would have a large amount of bad luck. Certainly, the change would cause you to appreciate what you had. Isn't there a proverb about appreciating what you had once it is gone. If not, than add -- Peteicus X to the end of that last bit, and now it is a proverb. You're welcome.
  

After eating many fortune cookies that produce no actual fortunes, I believe I will at one point start a business that does two things.

A. I will write fortunes for fortune cookies. Actual fortunes. Things like, "People will like you." "You will do well at your endeavors." or, "that dude you have been after will not like you back." Those are fortunes, and that will be my specialty. They might not be correct, but they are fortunes all the same.

B. I am going to develop a new line of cookies. A few new lines. I really dig the taste of current fortune cookies as I have mentioned before, so I might keep the shape and recipe. Perhaps I will color code the cookies so you know if you are eating a fortune cookie, a judgment cookie, a proverb cookie, and advice cookie....the only limit to type of cookies I can make is the colors of cookies I can bake up.

Whatever cookies break in this process is what I will use to make my fortune cookie cereal.