I gotta go.

I know not all of you reading this will understand. I am pretty sure my readership numbers in the millions, and out of that I bet there are a few women who read and follow along. I don't mean to leave you out here ladies. So, I will include a test so you have some idea what I am talking about. Go to the urinal test and take it. You might not understand how it all works, but at least you will understand that there is a madness at work.

And about that test. Whoever decided the answer to number 5 over thought. That answer is incorrect. The reasoning the test gives is that you are "coupled" with user 2 if you choose space 1. Not true. If you choose space 3 or 4, you are out in the open when you don't have to be and further, you are taking a serious chance of ending up next to two other men, and you are threefered with one group. If you are a dude, you know this is the worst possible scenario, which is in fact, revealed in the next question. You take number one, you face into the corner. User 2 was there when you got there and well undoubtedly leave before you, in which case you will be in an ideal situation. Anyone who has stage fright knows this for sure. You act like there is trouble with your zipper, user 2 walks away, and....sweet sweet relief. Notice question 3 doesn't have you in locations 3 or 4? That is what makes position 1 the right choice in question 5.

All this to say that, where I work, the bathroom closest to me has 2 urinals right next to each other. Do bathroom designers not study bathroom traffic? I would think this urinal situation would be fairly common knowledge, textbooky kinda stuff. I asked my friend, for the sake of anonymity, I will call her "Anita". "Anita" is one of the world's top architects, and she says egress and ingress issues and how they are handled depends on the city in which the building is built and weather that city mandates use of the International Building Code or the Uniform Building Code. Now, technically speaking, the number of urinals in a men's room isn't ingress or egress, but how you get to them and get away from them is. Maybe the number and why there would be 2 rather than 3 or 1 has more to do with occupancy numbers or some other variable. But 2 urinals? Really that means money was wasted on a urinal. There might be 2 there, but if one is occupied, that means the other is unavailable. I don't care what the emergency is, no man is going to occupy the second urinal. It just isn't going to happen. So why are there 2? Vexing. I am vexed. There are companies that make urinals that will paint a fly or some other target in a urinal because they have studied the whole bathroom situation enough to know that if they give men a target, men will aim at it which means less mess and less clean up. I have to wonder why the scientist who set up a bank of urinals and wrangled a bunch of drunk guys in to test out the splashy results from the targets couldn't help but wonder why there had to be a space inbetween each drunken, pissing study participant? You would think a scientist would notice a thing like that and want to study that next?