Beyond.

When I hear the word beyond, it usually conjures mental images of something extraordinary. It might be the hereafter, or maybe some reality that is melded to our own which we still have to discover. Once found, everything will be different, down will be up, left will be down, up will be sideways, and hotdogs will seem kinda normal. Beyond is a word used in the intro of The Twilight Zone, you know you are leaving this reality for some wacky reality where time will stop flowing, or you will forget how to speak or some people don't have mouths or faces. Even the dictionary defines beyond as outside the scope of ordinary experience.

So, imagine my disappointment, recently, after going into Bed, Bath & Beyond. If you have not been to one recently, I invite you to peruse their wares: I give you, BED, BATH & BEYOND! In their defense, this isn't a bad store. In fact, I like going there as long as I can keep Tyler Durden's rants out of my head. But when I hear beyond, I don't think bed bath and some kitchen stuff, which, honestly, would be a better name for this store. Bed, Bath & Some Kitchen Stuff. Has a nice ring. Bed, Bath and Beyond tells me I am going to see some bedding, some bathroom stuff, and then some of the craziest things I can imagine. Hey, this is a nice sheet set, and oh, I like these towels and check this out, I just turned partially into a plant. Look over there, a giant hotdog is getting swarmed by tiny killer pancakes. Hey look, I am those people over there, and they are me! My clothes are made out of pizza. There is a swirling portal to another dimension right behind those pillows, just getting near the portal to look at the pillows makes everything look like a cartoon. I tried to go through the portal, but everytime I went in, I ended up right in front of the portal again, but the pillows are gone! The whole store is filled with llamas!

Needless to say, my shopping experience lacked the more beyond portion I had hoped for. I had hoped to come out of Bed, Bath & Beyond a changed person. I had hoped for a mind blowing experience that challenged my views of reality. Instead, I came out with some new silverware and a couple of gift certificates. My mind is not blown as I had hoped for, it is still just as intact as ever.