Office Cardio Workout.

I am working on my own form of cardio work out. I am sure you're reading this thinking, "finally, the office is where I spend most of my time. I have been needing someone to come along and develop a workout I can do here at work, I am so tired of my gigantic ass." Well, today is your lucky day. Here are the moves I have for you so far:

Move one: This isn't my meeting. Briskly walk up and down a hall, opening every door you come to, proclaiming to whoever you see inside, "this isn't my meeting!" leave abruptly and resume your brisk pace. Do this for 15 minutes.

Move two: Obsessive-compulsively pat down your person and belongs while muttering "where are my keys and my wallet?" Do this for 5 minutes.

Move three: Walk as far away as possible to get a new box of paper for the copier. Do this once a day, each time proclaiming, "I thought we were out of paper." One to two times per day, depending on distance of paper from copier.

Move four: Anytime you are going to a meeting, lunch, or anywhere really, with a group, and you are almost to your destination "I forgot something on my desk." Walk briskly back to your desk. Do this as often as is humanly possible.

Move five: Advanced. Add to move one. When you open the door into meetings, proclaim "this isn't my meeting!" But before leaving, acknowledge a few people in the room by acting like if you were closer you would grab the back of their head and knee them in the face. You will know what you are doing, you will be getting a fabulous workout and relieving stress, yet know one else in the room will understand your gesture, but will appreciate the shout out. You don't have to know anyone in the room to do this, if you make this move with confidence.

....This is a work in progress, but this is enough to work off some of the Christmas fat from last year, lazy bastard.