Unholy bastard fruit.

I just got back from the grocery store. While picking up fruit, soda and of course, booze, can you imagine what I saw? You can if you go grocery shopping and look at apples. If you don't, you can't even imagine it. If curly, battered fries are affronts to God, then this thing is an abomination of all that is holy, true, right, just and innocent in this world and the next. A Grapple. You heard it here first, maybe. It is some kind of souless apple that tastes like a grape. I wasn't going to buy it and bring a curse upon my house, but I did smell the package. I will be damned if it didn't smell like grapes. But like Hubba Bubba grape gum, or Welch's grape soda, not real natural grapes. If I wanted something that tasted like a grape, I would eat, hmmmm, let me think, a grape? Or maybe even grape candy, or of course the aforementioned delicious Welch's grape soda. Why could I possibly want an apple that tasted like a grape? Why can't it taste like lemon cooler cake? Or like chocolate pudding? This made me think of an apple that might taste like steak and now I want to cry, and I don't want to eat. I can't be certain, but I think Grapples might have been mentioned in the book of Revelations. Thinking about this was like when I found out that everyone has a blind spot in each eye right in front of them. That still hurts my head.