My Newest Patent

I am going to patent the most ironic device ever. The Antitechnology Device. The device will have two probes that can be stabbed into any technology. Once attached and activated, my device will render any advanced technology to its most simple form. Your computer? An abacus. Your Ipod? Magnetic wire. Your car? A unicycle with a stone wheel. Your digital camera? A reflective pond.

If you don't want to reduce a piece of technology to its lowest form, you will have to get the Antitechnology Device Prohibitive. You can dial it back more slowly. Your cd player with the ATD Prohibitive? A phonograph. Hit it again? Magnetic wire. Your digital movie camera with the ATD Prohibitive? A Super 8. Hit it again? A reflective pond.

If you need the highest amount of granularity possible, the ATD Exorbitant is for you. Your cell phone with the ATD Exorbitant? A bigger cell phone. Hit it again? A cell phone the size of a lunch box with an attached handset. Hit it again? A yellow wall mounted land line with a rotary dial. Hit it again? Crank it up and yell into the horn looking mouth piece. Hit it again? 2 cans with a wire. Hit it again? A camp fire with a wet blanket.

Although I have not yet completely developed the algorithms and inner workings of the ATD, the patent should be no problem. For me, the last paragraph is my favorite.