Grapple, part 2.

Eating healthy has never been this much fun!
Experience the evil, souless new flavor of Grāpple™ brand apples. Imagine the sweet distinctive abominationy flavor of innocent Concord grapes combined with the crispness of a fresh, juicy, virginy Washington Extra Fancy apple.
Because of the immoral dessert quality and unique, unrighteouss flavor, these apples are extremely contemptuous. They're great eaten out of hand, nailed to a cross, sliced up in salads, ritualistically sacrificed, served as before dinner appetizers or banished from existence. Try slicing one up and serving it to your friends along with a wedge of their favorite cheese. Your friends eternal souls will be lost into a pit of despairr and fiery damnation. Kids will avoid them at any cost as will dogs! Both can sense the Grāpple™'s loathsome nature and the stink of death. This makes them a perfect snack at home, at school, at sport functions or at backwoodsy pagan ceremonies. Their glowing expression will say it all... "WOW! Pass me another one! I might as well, I am already going to hell for the first one I unwittingly ate."
With childhood obesity increasing at alarming rates, Grāpple™ brand apples could go a long way to pulling the whole of our fatty children's asses into smoldering, scalding bowels of hell, all while introducing us to more produce.
Well, now it is time for you to enjoy this exceptional fruit that "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape and inbibes the very stink of death"™.
http://www.grapplefruits.com/

Seriously, if you have a fat kid that won't eat fruit already, why is one fruit that tastes like another fruit going to get anyone to eat more fruit. An apple that tastes like fries and a banana that tastes like a chocolate shake might work? The very thought of that makes my skin crawl, and I smell something....Brimestone?