Shout at the..wait a second...

So, recently I was in a store or eatery, I forget which, and I heard The Crue come on in the the background. The Crew. The hair metal band from the 80s. The ones that 20 years ago my parents were swearing was devil music. That Crew. Background music at like Chilli's... I could stop this post right here and I am sure leave you all with a weird feeling. Walking away from your computers thinking.. "The Crew, background music? What is the world coming to...?" Chaos my friends, chaos.

The song was shout at the devil. I listened to this song a lot of times in high school. It somehow never struck me as odd then. I don't know what was wrong with me back then? Listening to it now, I realized I didn't understand most of the words. Pretty sure I never did. I did understand the "Shout, shout shout at the devil!" part though. I am sure that's what appealed to most of us, as youths at the time, was shouting at the devil.

I got to thinking about it though. Shouting what? What would I shout at the devil if I had the chance? I couldn't really think of anything I would shout at the devil if I saw him, so I turned to the Crue. They wrote the song, for sure they had something they wanted to shout at the devil. Turns out they really kinda didn't.

Typically when I shout at someone, I shout something, like "Hey, screw you hippy!" Hippys then know to turn around and look at me. They say to themselves, 'I am a hippy, and he just yelled screw you to me. If I wasn't such a hippy, I would do something about this.' Then they go back to thinking about Woodstock and weed and ten speed bicycles and vw vans. Who would just shout something like "ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!" I could see looking the devil in the eye and shouting some nondescript thing like that. The devil would probably look at me, then look behind him for other people or minions, then look back at me and motion 'are you shouting at me, or someone/something behind me??' Kinda give me a whatever shrug too. Chhhh, devil, you know I was shouting at you, don't pretend I wasn't.

So, now is my chance. I realize that if I ever have to shout at the devil, I should be like Neil Armstrong and have something awesome to say before the moment arrives. I would hate to see the devil and shout something totally lame. "Hey Devil, Hell called and they said...chhh, nevermind Devil, that was so stupid" The devil would agree that it was stupid and probably do something horrible to me because, well, he's the devil and all. If I ever see the devil, I will probably just shout "you suck!" Nondescript, he gets that a lot I bet. When shouting at the devil, I really don't think I want to score points for originality. I already work at a state college for a chud. I don't need the devil on my back too.

Shout at the Guy Right Behind the Devil would be a pretty good song too, I am sure. Once I start my band, I am gonna write that. Maybe. As soon as I write the song "Protein Donut" because really, who wouldn't want to hear about that. Oh yeah, and Dirtbird. That is going number one with a bullet.